in the beginning

to post is life. undefined, unrestricted, and oh such a beautiful thing. My god, if Kafka could've blogged or Nietzsche or Beckett! These men would've changed the blogging world as we know it.

Let it be known that I am Jack. Unrefined, low-cholesterol, and heart healthy. That is me. My life and times have led me from an undisclosed part of the midwest to the tarnished town of hollywood where the women have more plastic than the cars. I love it here, don't get me wrong, but the mere fact that when one meets another, the look of shock consumes you if the other said person was actually born here.

I am a writer. It actually has taken me a few years to admit that. Once in a while I might say that I am a surrealist. I once told a girl that I was with the EPA and she asked if I could read her mind. No joke.

After attending the AFI for writing, I found myself thrown at the wolves with blood streaked underwear. Everyone seemed to be my friend within the intricate web of studios until they got what I willingly gave them. Then they soon forgot my name. Such is life.

Being a scholar of life, film and coffee, I must share an anecdote of time spent in a posh spin class. Spinning is the brainchild of Tom Cruise, err wait, I'm not sure who designed the concept. Moving on. I was waiting bated breath to sweat my ass off in this gem of a class I found in WeHo (waiting because there's typically a standby wait list for the ones who don't like to purchase a series of classes for thousands of dollars) and this woman rushes in and says;

"Did you hear about @#$%?" said woman said.

"No-what happened?" said employee said.

"She ran into a pedestrian on La Cienega." said woman said.

"Oh no! How is she? (in this order) How is the pedestrian?" said employee said.

"She's fine. The guy seems okay--looks like a broken leg. What are we going to do with her bike seat?" said woman said.

(now at this point, I am HOWLING on the inside.)

"I don't know...do you think she'll wrap things up with the police before class begins?" said employee said.

Another woman chimes in as she walks through the door.

"I just saw #$%^&^. She's okay. I think the guy just has a bone-fratcure. He should be able to walk it off." said other woman said.

At this point in the ensuing conversation, I lost all train of thought. Another man runs in the place...

"#$%^& isn't going to make it. The cops have more questions for her." said other man said.

"Jack, you're in. Go get a bike." said employee said.


By the time I was in the saddle, I secretly thanked the heavens for pushing that pedestrian into said woman's lexus.