my funny valentine. a story by jack

After I moved from Hollywood to Studio City back in 2004, i was quite content in my cozy little existence. My days seemed to blend together, but i was alright with that. It was a Friday evening and my home telephone rang. I stared at it for a moment because the only people that had my home number were my parents and god. oh, and the phone company. I pick up the phone-

"Hello?" I chirped.

"Hi, how are yyyoou?" A sultry female responded.

"Ummm, fine."

"What are you doing home on a Friday night, Jack?"

I thought for a moment as I stared at the muted Joan of Arcadia on my television.

"Difficult week, just relaxing. Who is this?" I lied.

"Deanna."

Hopping to my feet, i began mumbling mother fuckers...it's been a constant with some of my good friends for they get a rise out of pointing out my singleness. In times past, they signed me up for Russian and Serbian mail order brides and a multitude of single lists.

"Well, Deanna, who put you up to this?"

"I'm curious why a young man, such as yourself, is home alone on a Friday night?"

"My girlfriend's working."

I swallowed hard. Going to hell for that one too-

"Come on Jack, we both know that you're single. I can tell in your voice."

She's good. Fucking good. How did she know?

"Get to the point. How do you know me?"

"I think it's time, Jack, that you join our group. I want to extend an invitation for you to join Great Expectations."

I couldn't stop laughing. Seriously. Deanna explained her duties of phoning people on friday and saturday evenings and soliciting business. I agreed to go in but failed to show up many times. I felt a little bad, I am not one to back out of things.

From that point on, every friday evening, Deanna would call and we'd chat about life. this went on until I moved back to hollywood.

My friday night thing: Take-out, Joan of Arcadia, and Great Expectations

(certain names have been changed for privacy issues. Mine has not)